My now boyfriend, Carlton, and I traveled to Bangladesh 5 days after the tsunami to be THE bridal party of my two college bffs (best friends forever).
The bride, Jenny, is a native of Bangladesh and her now husband, Sanjaya, is a native of Sri Lanka.
When the tsunami hit we were more than concerned and tried to reach both Jenny and Sanjaya, both of whom were in their respective countries. Days of trying and finally we received a call back that everyone was fine and the wedding was still a go. Fortunately, no family were directly affected by the tsunami. It hit on Sanjaya's birthday when he was to go diving and decided to stay at home with his family. Thank God he stayed home.
Carlton and I met at the D.C. airport for our journey half way across the world. It was his first time out of the country so there was a lot of excitement and a little anxiety.
When we made it Dhaka, Bangladesh we were greeted by Jenny. The first thing that hit me was the thick haze over the city which we found out was smog. I've been many places in the world but this was by far the craziest traffic situation I had ever seen. You really couldn't distinguish sides of the road and cars, bicycles, rickshaws and pedestrians all traveled in the street.
We and were carted off in a van to Mulishi Kandar (not sure how to spell it), a rural part of Bangladesh where Jenny's family is from. It was a scenic drive through rice paddy fields, huts on stilts and beautifully colored fabric banners denoting a home where a wedding would take place.
When we finally arrived at the new family home there was a splendid meal set out for us. We were welcomed with open arms, met many family members, and introduced on how to eat with our hands. I was in heaven. My mother spent many years trying to glue a fork in my hand. Now being here I realized it was a part of my culture that was fighting to come out. Family members cheered when Carlton learned the 4 finger scoop and got most of the food in his mouth.
The wedding turned out to be as traditional a Bangladeshi wedding as it could be, a Christian Bangladeshi, marrying a Buddist Sri Lankan. The ceremony lasted 3 days. We were honorary family members and went with the wedding couple on the visitation each family member's house, where they met the groom for the first time. We were advised not to stuff our faces at the first couple of houses because there were many more houses and foods to be had, and tasting was, of course, the polite thing to do.
But our vacation was to have a terrible turn as our malaria medicine, Malarone, began to take its effect. We were both were riddled with high fevers similar to malaria. When family members pinpointed the cause they advised we stop taking the drug, which took about 2 days to exit our system we both missed some of the partying
The cooks kept asking how /Byjan/ “Brother Heart” was, which was their pet name for Carlton.
One of the ceremonies was called the Guyhaloo, where family and friends are invited to wish the almost married couple well and spread turmeric on their faces. The immediate family members and Carlton and I sat on the stage and were also wished well, creating awesome pictures of very yellow faces. It was a very sentimental experience and tears were flowing joyously. All this was followed by entertainment, which included the village comedian who happened to be one of the funniest people I've ever seen even though I couldn't understand a word. He did village animal impressions and if you closed your eyes you swore you were in the middle of a barnyard.
The day of the wedding, there was a mock procession of bride's family traveling to the groom's home with his marital attire and vice versa . Since Sanjaya is from Sri Lanka, one of Jenny's family offered their house to be the stand in for Sanjaya's house. Their was much dressing to be done, even though Carlton and I were the only two besides Jenny and Sanjaya in the wedding party all the matriarchs were dressing in saris made from the same material and the men were also putting on their fineries.
This led to the funniest part of the trip. Carlton and Sanjaya were to get dressed in what looked like MC Hammer pants, really made from many yards of pleated fabric. It was to be tied a certain way in order to achieve the desired look. Two of the aunties were trying to get Sanjaya dressed when Carlton turns around to offer a helping hand by showing how someone else had tied his pants. He started untying the front of his pants, unbeknown to the Aunties, Carlton had on shorts under the fabric. The ladies screamed and fell back in horror. Both Carlton and Sanjaya lost it with laughter and had to show that Carlton had shorts on under the fabric.
The church was full when we arrived with another wedding, we were in the middle of wedding season and there was a wedding scheduled right after as well. Jenny looked amazing, I know most brides do, but to see her in her homeland in her native dress was just a dream. The ceremony was beautiful and quick.
The procession led back through the town with a full band and we made stops at family homes and danced. Then when we got to Jenny's family home, the gate to the ceremony was blocked by all the beautiful young maidens (cousins and sister of the bride). They demanded money from Sanjaya to be let in, he kept having to shell it out until it met their satisfaction and the gates were opened. What a fun tradition, the girls shared up the money amongst themselves.
The partying continued late into the night, there was food galore and one huge ceremonial plate that the bridegroom ate as much as they could from and then family members would take a little from for good luck.
It was an amazing two weeks that came and went quickly. Carlton and I felt so welcome. I felt at home as if I belonged there, I looked like the people and ate like them too. We learned a few words and phrases and still use them. It was one of the best journeys I've taken
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