To the question that many still ask of Samantha,
I will try to provide a poetic-type answer.
To have THE BEST JOB, tell us, what must one do?
Just what is your secret? Can you give us a clue?
Has it just been good luck, the right time and right place?
Or does it relate to your body and face?
Are there things you have studied? What great books have you read?
Did you take college courses in jumping on beds?”

Here’s rhyming advice I’ve compiled for the mob,
That is made up of viewers who covet Sam’s job.


HOW SAM GOT HER JOB (AND WHY YOU CAN’T HAVE IT )

A poem by Mother Orange, inspired by beyond words and his 9/12/08 post, Robert Frost, Dr. Seuss and the fencing segment of Samantha Brown’s Los Angeles episode of Passport to Great Weekends.

Make people laugh most every day.
Shake pompoms. Earn a B.F.A.
Learn to sing and act and dance.
Look stylish in your traveling pants.
Watch the soaps for many years.
Bravely conquer all your fears.
Practice improv. Act in plays.
Feed rescued cats on holidays.

Write lines, rehearse, then tone your abs!
Save the spiders. Free the crabs.
Endorse some Buicks, shoes and tubs,
Replacement windows, Disney clubs.
Politely eat what locals do,
Try guinea pig and cowfoot stew.
Drink all spirits, lift them up,
From beer to Chateauneuf du Pape.

Though jetlagged, go the extra mile.
Share honest feelings. Always smile.
Be upbeat, down-to-earth and real,
Display that “ lovely host ” appeal.
To please the youthful, party on!
Shoot bars and clubs from dusk to dawn.
To please the elders, don’t alarm.
Turn down edgy, turn up charm.

Talk smart, act hip. Be nice, never crabby.
Accept new direction. Make everyone happy.
Should you hear “perky” emerge from some lips,
Breathe deep, answer questions, share more travel tips.
Lift us all up and do not ever bore.
Do all this for years, and then do some more.
So you think a Samantha is easy to find?
I think not. We all know she’s one of a kind!

Mother O, that was a wonderful poem! Very well written, funny, cute, and further affirming that I will never have Sam's job. Oh well, I'm happy to leave it to her!

Mother O. That was great. Samantha is one of a kind. Very special. God Bless! Mary.

Subject: A Special Smile

I'm so happy Robert Frost was able to inspire Mother O to unleash this outstanding poem that Frost himself would certainly declare truly noble in thought and deed. For one of his many lectures, I can envision Frost giving you a special seat in the front of his class and proudly read your poem to exemplify poetic prowess that we can all marvel and appreciate.

My goodness, if I had a career in the publishing business, I would ask you to put together a manuscript of all your poems and see what we have gathered together for a new book to hit the markets! And if more material is needed to get a full volume put together, then I would have no qualms sending you a pick check in the mail to get you started on the road to becoming a renown author with widespread honor and acclaim!

As one who appreciates good poetry, thank you for the delightful smile your poem immediately brought to my face, and to all our faces too I'm sure, and in just your introduction alone. A special smile that will continue to last with me throughout the days ahead.

Jeff

Especialy love the "Chateauneuf du Pape" line, Mother O. Wonderful stuff, right up there with Cole Porter's "You're The Top". The message behind the poetry is as significant as the lyrics are witty, too.

You're the top / You're the Tower of Pisa / You're the smile / On the Mona Lisa

Hmm a fitting song for Sam I think.

I was in that musical in high school, with one whole line: "I am a sinner!" It's very hard to get those songs out of your head..

"You're cellophane!" (hope I'm spelling that right) is my favorite, Kelsey. Can't remember what it rhymed with, though. Hope your first semester is going well, "and, if baby, I'm the bottom, you're the top."

Thank you all very much.
I’m glad you liked the final product, which I found quite fun to construct.

So many people have the impression that Samantha has it pretty easy. It's a myth perpetuated by this season’s promo depicting the passive-aggressive foiling of her office by jealous co-workers. In reality, I’m sure her job is often extremely difficult, though she makes it look like a breeze. I think she deserves tremendous respect for doing it so well, and for so long. I attempted to convey that feeling.
It is not something just anybody could do, though many think they could. As maryoflakewood always reminds us, Samantha is "very special."


Beyond words, it has never been even a fragment of a dream of mine to be spotlighted in the front seat, or to be “an author with widespread honor and acclaim.” If somebody sent me a check and told me I had to write something, I am sure I would draw a blank. It is nice of you to say that though, and I will accept your compliment with a reciprocal smile.
As my reward I see I just got promoted to Senior Member, which is quite enough.

I think your middle names must be Iambic Pentameter, all you poets. I like:"She was a phanton of delight, when first gleamed upon my sight; A lovely apparition, sent to be a moment's ornament." William Wordsworth Take care, all.