My husband and I have planned on going to Italy for our fifth anniversary before we were even married. Well, this is the year and we're going in September. We don't know if we should do a tour (as has been suggested to us a few times) or wing it. Generally on vacations, we do our own thing, but this is so monumental that we're afraid we'll miss something amazing if we don't know what we're doing. Should we do a tour? Should we do a tour where they plan the dinners? What would Anthony Bourdain do? HELP!

We had a similar conundrum several years ago. Never really considered a tour, but we had limited time and wanted to maximize it (we tend to be overly-ambitious travelers). We flew into Florence and did the crazy-tourist thing for 5 days - hopping from one amazing sight to another - and then went to Lucca (where my husband's family comes from). We had planned to spend 3 days there and then go to Pisa and on to the coast/Cinque Terra area, but in the end we just spent 11 days in Lucca.

Lucca is not a big town and there's not a whole lot of stuff to see. Some small museums, a few streets of shops and (of course) an abundance of restaurants. Lovely, sunny piazzas; an old Roman amphitheatre that's now a peaceful cobblestone courtyard ringed by quintessentially Tuscan townhouses covered in wrought-iron flowerboxes absolutely frothing with blossoms; an ancient print shop that's been operating since the 1600's (and has a very friendly proprietor who was happy to show us how his art is made); winding streets and alleys smelling of dust and jasmine; and of course the town's magnificent wall, 60' wide and topped with parks and shade trees and a path you can use to stroll all the way around the city, looking down on the ancient tile roofs.

We dined late every night, slept late every morning, took 2-hour breakfasts sipping coffee at an outdoor table in the tiny piazza near our little pensione, had picnic lunches bought at the farmer's market, and generally tried to slow down and live like the Italians. The whole time we were there we only met two people who spoke English.

I am * SO * GLAD * we didn't try to see everything. We saw some great stuff, but in the end it was that lazy time in Lucca that made us feel like we'd really been to Italy.

You might feel differently, but that's my advice. Find some time to run around, and also find some time to just...be...there.

kate, that was an awewsome response. Thanks for the insight. Sounds really incredible. I think we may take a more relaxed approach now. Thanks again.