This writing is to convey to as many people as I can the experience that my husband and I just recently had and to try to help as many people out that might be interested in doing the same thing we did. The main point is DO NOT go to Jamaica, please, but if you must go there please, please, please DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT go to the Couples Resorts. My husband and I were extremely unfortunate enough just this past September to make that hugely stupid mistake and we would like to make sure none of you do the same. Let me start off by saying we got to the airport there and were thrown in a disgusting, tiny, little 1970s bus, that should not have been on the road any longer, for a good hour and a half. During this time we were able to see a good portion of what the island had to offer, which was nothing. Everything we saw was very rundown and very poor and very unsafe looking. And let me also mention if you are not used to the driving there please do not attempt it. I’ve dealt many times with Boston drivers and New York drivers and they are nothing compared to what you will see on the roads in Jamaica. So we miraculously got to our “resort”, which at first glance looked half way decent, but still not as nice as the website and pictures make it look. I won’t get into every little detail but my list of complaints throughout the whole trip is as follows. About 75%, at least, of the food was terrible, when asking questions of any of the staff they seemed completely oblivious to everything. The room that we stayed in which was right on the beach on the first floor in the main area had no glass in the windows. We could hear everything and everybody as they constantly went by and vice versa, they could all hear everything that we did in our room, including using the shower or going to the bathroom. Something they could have mentioned to us earlier, real cozy, huh?!! Then there was the bed. I have had many arguments with people trying to convince us that we got bit by sand flees on the beach but doesn’t it seem a little bit too much of a coincidence that every time we got up in the morning and every time we took a nap we would wake up with our entire bodies covered with new bites everyday? Next there are the all-inclusive activities that we later realized are available to fool you into thinking you will be busy doing all these fun things because you sure as heck won’t want to leave the resort. Hat making, basket weaving, tie-dyeing; trust me don’t bother. Even the snorkeling and glass bottom boat and such were not worth it. Now I have to say the biggest joke of all was the shopping shuttle. First of all on the website they claimed this to be free, part of the all-inclusive price. But then we had to pay $10 a person, which we thought would be worth it to see more of the island and maybe get some local culture with the shopping. Wow were we wrong. The shuttle made three stops, each of which consisted of crappy souvenir shop after even crappier souvenir shop. I’m sorry but I don’t need a bunch of stupid key chains and shot glasses and vulgar t-shirts. Thanks anyway!! Now, the most unfortunate part of this whole thing was we went down to Jamaica to get married and as our honeymoon as well. The private/intimate beach setting consisted of us in the middle of the very open, public beach surrounded by a number of shall we say rather large sunbathers in their rather tiny bikinis and speedos all staring at us while we partook in the ceremony. This ceremony being conveyed to us as being non-denominational had an awful lot to say about God. Hmm, odd how that works isn’t it? The topper to this all that made me finally sit down and write this very long complaint, sorry about that, was that we had to mail our birth certificates off to them before going down to get married so their government would be able to issue our marriage certificate later on. We were told to send either a notarized copy or an original. Not wanting to go out of my way to find a notary and have to deal with all that we sent our originals. No where on their website nor did anyone make us aware until just now that we don’t get those back. The Jamaican government keeps whatever you send down. Explain to me why the Jamaican government needs to keep an original copy of my birth certificate. If they know going into this that we wouldn’t be getting them back why would it not be common knowledge to make the guests aware of this. It only takes one small sentence and you are covered. Not hard. I will end this with saying it is pretty sad when you wait 8 months to go on some great, spectacular vacation, put in all the time and effort, are confident enough to make this your wedding, and then on the second day you are on the internet looking to see how much money you would lose on your ticket if you changed it so you could fly back home that day. I wish we would have just stayed home and gone to city hall, because now this is what we have to live with as our wedding memories for the rest of our lives. Thank you Couples Resorts!!!!!!